Raised in a barn

A long-standing pet peeve of mine is anyone who can't properly latch a door or, in this case, a drawer, closed. I feel that the way they leave something hanging open or ajar is really a metaphor for their non-committal attitudes toward life in general (also a major pet peeve). Gilligan continually does this and honestly, I don't think he's smart enough to be doing it on purpose, but rather he is genuinely that inconsiderate and obtuse.

G: Will we get registration on the Smith* file today?

L: (Blank stare.)

G: Has it been submitted for registration?

L: (Blank stare.)

G: It's just that they want to close the deal as soon as possible and...

L: Close that drawer.

G: (Scrambling) Oh, sorry...

L: You were saying...?

"C" is for Cookie, "J" is for Jam

So…after the offering of cookies this morning, this afternoon, a client walks in with jars of homemade jam which Gilligan then passes onto me. I tried to get him to keep all of them, but he insisted on ‘spreading the wealth’. Siiiiiiiigh. Am I really that much of a deity, or diva, as the case may be? If so, y’all need to tell me ‘cause I was not previously aware that I gave off the impression that I could be bought-off so cheaply.

Even if I cannot avoid the offerings, I think I should still try to up my game. Not saying I can't be bought, it's just going to take much, much more is all.

And in case you were wondering who would win the Death Match between the Cookie Monster and Keebler Elves, I took the liberty of researching same and invite you to follow this link:

http://www.grudge-match.com/History/cookie-keebler.shtml

Etiquette 101

[For the purposes of this blog, my employer shall be referred to as "Gilligan". As necessary, all other names are also pseudonyms to protect the insulted.]

Gilligan: I went to the bank and there was this lady there. I asked her when she was due.

Knowing I will regret asking, but my curiosity for the morbid gets the better of me...

Lisa: And...?

Gilligan: She's not.

Cookie Goddess...or Monster?

There are days when my life at work feels like some kind of weird and only vaguely funny sitcom. Today is already one of those days. After a brief but not uncommon verbal altercation with my employer yesterday afternoon, he came in this morning bearing cookies, claiming he'd stayed up all night baking them just for me. While I appreciate the gesture, it's a shame only one of us realizes if he'd just let me do my job in the first place, he wouldn't have to make these vain attempts to appease my nature by bringing me baked goods.